my house is my haunt that i've claimed to patrol as i search for something that will fit this hole my home's interior's etched in my brain it's likely that here is where i'll lastly lay. thoughts swirl in my head like cigarette smoke the self medication which gives you false hope and that makes you happy, i admit i'm not but i'd rather suffer than watch cohorts rot. sacrifice well-being for the off-chance that you'll find a nice girl to bring to the dance. to see you achieve inner peace is my goal and one day i'll look back and smile when i'm old. those smiles in the future makes all of this worth it i'll bury this hatchet and never unearth it 'cause i've cut ties with too many that i love and i have some waiting for me up above. and when i'm confronted with a hurricane i focus on the calming sound of the rain. my passion for people will be my downfall but i think that's okay if i help along all those around me that only see dark but if they looked inside they would see the mark they leave on the others as they come and go and how unapolagetically it glows. and all these connections i crave from my peers won't be remembered past my teenage years. but that doesn't mean that i invalidate all the memories and impacts i make. the tiger's stripes on the inside of your thighs serving as tallies for all of the lies you've been fed in your short time on this earth don't say a thing badly about your worth.

if i could convince him to free you, i would. as if we were never here, we'd escape. free spirits under lit Mississippi skies. my father couldn't be more ashamed of me. with the wind blowing through your hair technicolor waving aimlessly. we aren't going anywhere but somehow, you look up to me. let's keep going and not look back there's nothing for us anyway back in Flowood, we're both off track let's just leave them all to decay. as the city limits glide into view, i look to your eyes. second thoughts assault your head. this love story comes to an end. but now i know that this is just a pipe dream you loved the idea of being in love. so here i sit with glistening eyes. in another reality, we ride.

if it means a thing to you, you mean everything to me. if there's no value to my words, yours are golden and agleam. and if opposites attract, then we've no magnetic pull. we are one in the same, but we'll never feel the other's hold. because of what makes me me. one Y prevents me and you from being us. why choose mono when there's rainbows? i can't bring myself to blame you. i can't sleep and you can't sleep. if we're going to be burning moonlight, we might as well share the heat. to say i dodged a bullet wouldn't quite be correct. it's more like i shot myself and lived to recollect. i sit and think about you. you're drunk as fuck and rambling. if this is how you want to be then i have no right to stop you. i've never felt this way before. i've always felt this way.

you're still here in my mind. hyper-urbanites suspended timelessly in ideal living. until my creative drive ceases to take priority over the things that should matter most to me you will never die. you're still here in our minds. forever ideal living, never a moment of strife and nothing can ever burst your bubble. we grow old and succumb to the drivel but you will stay sixteen forever never having to listen to anyone about anything forever a free spirit unhindered by the weathering of time.

a friend-shaped hole where you once were. sunrise. sunset. nine eight. fifteen. part of the world around me is gone. it'll still function but it won't be the same. i'll try to fill in the cracks with gold but so far all i can find is the dirt from a hole in the ground. kintsukuroi. appreciate the beauty in something broken. even if your time's up, timeless is your impact your bleeding heart beats on in all those that you touched